My Story

[LostIn407]

If it is what you want to do, be a family again, then you can rationalize the decision to make it sound like the best idea. It is family time. It is for our D, not me. But honestly, what are your intentions of inviting the W?

For me, Memorial Day was the start of W and I moving in a better direction. Up until Memorial Day, all hope was lost. I had plans to file August 1. I had plans to move out of state. There was no progress being made, it was over.

Memorial Day was "my" day with the Ds. In texts discussing the handoff, I simply threw out "You are welcome to join us". She agreed with stipulations (drive herself). I believe she did this so she could leave if I pressed her about the R, future, etc.

It took a lot of work to keep my mouth shut and not ask stupid questions and not smother her. We simply had a good time and talked. Had I mentioned OM or what she was doing, she would have gotten in her car and left. I didn't do it.

That let my W feel comfortable around me again. Since that time, we have spent a lot of time together. We are even going away for three days this weekend, just the two of us.


Can you just enjoy the day with your W being there without pursuing her, without pressuring her, without expectations? If so, then a simple invitation would be good. "We are going to do ______________, you are welcome to join us". If she says no, how will it make you feel? How will you react?

If you feel you will pressure her at all, then don't do it. You will make it a 1000% worse. Are you strong enough to survive the ups and downs of the day, the potential of things being worse? Are you in a good enough place that you can enjoy the holiday without any expectations? You are going to be "on stage" the entire time. You need to be strong. The W will look at you to see any changes, will getting back together be more of the same or something better?

It has the potential to be good or really, really bad. It depends all on you. Do not do it unless you are confident in how you will act.