Kaffe, you seem to be extrapolating the no-expectations part of DB from the WAS situation to all marriage. I don't believe it's intended that way. There are expectations built into the marriage vows and there are expectations that are normal in a healthy married couple. You expect you'll have intimacy, you expect your spouse will care about you and love you, you expect that when problems come up you'll both try to deal with them.
When you have a WAS all bets are off because your odds are so bad that any expectations will hurt you and send the WAS running faster. But that doesn't mean people are supposed to go through life with no expectations of anyone. It's just a matter of having healthy expectations and being with someone who does likewise of you.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
