Thanks Kml... we had a conversation this morning, and once again he says that he doesn't know how his life got to this point. I voiced my concern that it seems like this relationship with the OW is priority over our marriage, he says that all he is asking is for me to love him and give him time to break away from the other woman (so I don't know if he is really weak and stuck, or if he is just playing me). He says if it comes down to it, and he thinks he cannot break away on his own, he will ask me for help. Basically what he is trying to do is find her cheating on him, or a reason to break it off with her, where it is her fault and not his. I asked him why he didn't come home last night, and he said because she guilt tripped him. So I don't know what to believe, is my husband being emotionally manipulated by this woman and he is too weak, and hates himself so much that he has no fight in him? Or am I stupid?? I still plan on getting a life, and setting goals for myself, but perhaps being there for him as a friend, but nothing more right now. We don't have any family here and we are the only family we have. Its very confusing. I go to his therapy appointments with him, but he is not taking any of the vitamins mentioned or holistic approaches. He did do some cognitive therapy and exposure therapy back at Walter Reed that seemed to help him, and he used to have me read him a book while he took a bath called "once a warrior always a warrior" that explained about PTSD. There are books out there too on the PTSD relationship and so on, although they don't really touch on affairs as an escape mechanism or distraction. I told him today I just want to see him happy, and he said well I have told you before I am not happy with myself and I have to love myself and that's what I need to work on. I am so torn between what to do you know? But it helps just to write it all down and be honest without being judged or called a doormat for loving my husband through this pain and difficult time. He is picking me up for lunch, don't know if that is a good idea, but I haven't seen him since Saturday. Thanks for the help guys.
M-28 H-28 M-9 1/2 years T- 12 years PA- 01/02/12 (still going on)
