Kevd111

[Kevd111]

Total Newbie here looking for a bit of help and support. Can't seem to get my signature to work, so the basics: I'm 44 wife is 47 and we've been married 11 years (my first her second marriage). There is my stepson (22) from her first marriage and together we have a daughter (10) and son (8).

I am dealing with a WAW situation, and it centers on the fun and attention aspect that she tells me has been missing for some time. I am ashamed to say, but for the most part she is right. With opportunities to take her places, do things with her, or even just spend extra time around her, I put myself into work and into the kids (which may not sound horrible, but it made my wife seem like a lower priority).

Wife started working for a man who is 47 and single and generally fun-loving. They have been having an emotional affair since about March I can figure, though I do NOT think it has evolved into a PA. The affair has hurt, and prior to all of this whole ordeal I have had some health problems for me along with being diagnosed as clinically depressed.

She D-Bombed me on 6/26/12 saying that the fun is not there and that the 'spark' has faded too much. I asked if it was really too late, and she said she thought so. Still, she has agreed to stay and try, and even before the D-bomb we had our first MC session trying to work out the whole EA side of things. Now the dynamic has changed but the MC will continue.

Since D-Day, thanks to reading up on this site, I've been good about being happy, upbeat, and non-pressuring. I realize I need to have patience, but it is hard to not have any reaction from her. And trying to keep up the happy veneer is so difficult when underneath my mind has to deal with the possible loss of family, still being hurt by the EA, and the depression I'm still coping with (but managing).

I am at such a loss. I hope someone can help.