W told me she is done & doesn't love me anymore-P3

[Snowman]

My W replied to my email in a email conversation that we have been having. Her email was more of the same projections of her problems on my family, me, friends, and other BS. I said how can this vague BS be so. I then started more work in my nice guy area and happened upon Borderline Personality Disorder(BPD). I started to read about it and read other's experience about it. I then started reading the book Stop Walking on Eggshells which is a book about living with someone that has it. Holy crap it was so familiar it was shocking. You could erase my entire stitch from when the bomb was dropped on me and for certain I would say my wife has it based on my entire marriage before that.

This is not some BS excuse I'm coming up with now or anything like that. I had a bad case of Mr. Nice Guy which is the BPD's favorite person to be with. I still have work to do on me but I'm telling you she has it. Her behavior during our entire marriage and even worse in this stitch. She has been an emotional nightmare of anger, the black and white thinking, the control/manipulation, the projections on everyone, extremely sensitive, the blaming, the anger outbursts, the talk of pain, the emptiness etc.. I could go on and I'm talking before the bomb and during the entire marriage.

She wants to now continue with the D again. There is no helping a BPD person if they will not help themselves. I have been beaten down so much that I have started to believe her abuse. I can't take it anymore and it won't stop until she gets help for herself.

I'm ready to move on. I have and will continue to work on me with the great guidance on here but I'm ready. No one knows nor can I try to describe my entire marriage but me and I'm saying it was never healthy or normal. I could never put my finger on it until now. I know responses may say stuff like be careful or your just blaming on a disorder or jumping to conclusions but until you have lived with what I have and also read/learned to understand this disorder I would say please learn about it so you can understand.

My W doing EAs and making me walk on eggshells is classic behavior. Reading people's posts that have lived or dealt with a person with BPD caused a rush feelings and understanding to come over me. It just feels in the gaps of so much confusion.

I'm going to continue to learn more but meanwhile I'm not sure how to respond to my W's ridiculous projections on basically everyone but herself and attempt to suck me back into things??