Thank you Thank you Thank you for the kick in the butt 25 n SIAS!!! I need it!
Ok so here are MY NEW GOALS:
1- work on my anger/resentment! my sponsor told me to journal. I hold back on this because I notice it makes me more angry but I guess I'm repressing it which doesn't help!
ironic...when I read over my journals from 6 years ago
they make me mad all over again and that reminds me of the harmful type of mc
where we rehash the past, and relive the traumas. It's NOT solution based.
IMO,
If you dont' process and LET GO OF THE ANGER them don't bother journaling..
maybe write it ALL down and then burn it or something
but release the past, b/c it passed...
go "from this day forward"...like the vows ask us to do
2- work on living in the present! I need to learn how to meditate and relax.
This morning I got another panic attack. I immediately called H to tell him off and thank GOD! he didn't pick up. I then called my sponsor. It helped a lot! I need to continue to use her. please under NO circumstances should you blow up at your h unless you know you are done
and you know what? EVEN THEN you'd regret "losing it" b/c in the end you want him to know
he left a woman of dignity and honor and strength, who held it together even in the face of adversity.
And not a shrill shrew who will remind him of the reasons he left...
correct?
Tomorrow morning H isn't coming over so we will have a nice relaxing morning to ourselves. (Unless he decides to show up as he has everyday this week without calling!)
Wish us luck!
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
