swimming with turtles and some guidance

[zig]

journaling -
just recording a small positive. i had felt h really withdrawn last night. so today i just stayed quiet, sensing he needed the space.

he called a bit ago - didn't leave a message. in the past during my dim stage i wouldn't call back, now since talking to joann, i do. i still expected him to give s the phone to answer when he saw it was me (it's what he does when he withdraws) so was extremely surprised that he answered.

he was friendly and his voice sounded warm - not all uptight. he wanted to know how my day had been and what had i done/.

i outright lied and said that i had been busy all day went out with friends etc. (yeah i know, yuck!) and that i hadn't realized how tired i was. we talked about s and how much sleep he had got, and i asked how their day had been. he told me, reluctantly admitting that they'd been out at the lake. i just said casually oh hope you had a good time.

i offered that s could come to the house if he didn't want to hang out with h while he works on his house. h seems pleased at the offer. then he went into a bit of a complaining bout about how many things s had to be taken to this week. swimming lessons , aikido, fencing - pretty much something everyday.

i didn't offer to help right away saying i would take s . will see how i feel about it, each day. if s is actually here, and it's not in the middle of my work time, i can offer, but i don't feel as if i have to go out of my way.