It sounds like when Homer Simpson gave Marge the bowling ball for her birthday that had "Homer" engraved on it.

CV, all I'll say is this with your hypothetical: I've observed a trend in my own behavior. I like to think like I've got it all figured out, and I like to think I've evaluated a situation from all angles. I think it's pride, and fear of looking silly. Therefore, I will sometimes write up scenarios from my sitch so that the reader can arrive at only one logical conclusion, because that's where I've lead them. It's obviously far less pleasant to admit my own role in things, and to take a risk of being embarrassed by presenting a scenario I haven't evaluated from every possible angle.

The iced tea example you give above is horrible, there is no way for you to win in that scenario, other than ruthlessly setting and enforcing boundaries -- "if you give me a drink I don't like, I will pour it on the ground in front of you and buy what I like". If we're talking about things as trivial as buying you a drink, however, that would be exhausting, you couldn't set that many boundaries, remember them, and remember to enforce them.

Are you sure it's *as bad* as you're presenting above? Is he really that thoughtless and callous? Are there ANY scenarios where he really does have your best interests at heart? I really hope it's not as bad as your example.

Accuray

Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015