swimming with turtles and some guidance

[zig]

So I think that now we'll look back regardless of the outcome of our sitches and not recognize that depressed sad person that we used to be!


you're right brit - i am so not that person.

and thanks for the HUGE hug. much needed this morning. i'm not upset or sad - but having very mixed feelings.

finding myself thinking - [censored] - how do i go and write and refine those goals on the bootcamp thread? why did i spend the money on the coach - do i even really want this with h - yesterday felt like a huge effort in keeping the peace.

or was that the wrong attitude and perspective? was it a huge effort for me because i'm always wanting something else than what there is right now? was it a huge effort because i'm the one messed up in this and h is actually just floating along not giving a rat's a$$ about anything?

i just spoke to my mom, and she pointed out that after something big like that which you work towards for many days, you just sort of have a let down feeling. it was good to reminded about that. so i'm going to float a bit today - and maybe just quietly go down and swim with the turtles and just be - nothing good or bad, just what it is.

zig