One step closer to the edge and I'm about to break

[Fightfire00]

What was your expectation around what they would say?
And just because they have an opinion, doesn't mean you have to agree with them.

I expect Catholic Priests to be advocates of marriage... to give me spiritual guidance, to offer me prayers or counsel... not to tell me to write off my marriage or be dismissive...

So I find helpful things to do and read (I've re-read parts of DR)

I've read DR 4 times since buying the book in late May... I have done the 180s... I'm being the BEST dad I can be... I'm doing my best to be the BEST man of God I can be... as I said above, I have my good days and my bad... I hope that you feel better...


and try not to mindread ("I have to wonder, if the situation were reversed and I had been the one that walked out on my marriage, would they be beating down my door and ringing my cell to "talk to me"?" ) about things I will never find the answers to.

not sure I would agree this is mind reading... but I see what you're saying... it does make me wonder especially considering that on one of my dark days I was compelled to tell my story (albeit a synopsis) to a person I had met only 2 days prior at church and she told me the story of her marriage and how our Priest had pursued her H and got him to agree to counseling and reconciliation... I just don't understand why he seemingly won't do the same for me... I'm trying to tell myself that it's all in God's time.. His plan... doesn't make it any easier, that's for sure... I have considered sending them a letter conveying my feelings... haven't decided yet...

I'm sure you've heard this here before-You acted your way into this so you have to act your way out of it.

I completely agree with this.. and had this happened 9 years ago after my PA, I would have accepted it and moved on... but now after all that time and YEARS of W telling me that everything was fine and that she loved me she now says she was acting... that she asked me to make changes over the years, which I did, and she recognizes and appreciates those changes, but she expected her feelings for me to change, and they didn't... in MY opinion, it's because we never made time for one another... we lost our emotional connection...

Don't expect others to get your out of it.

oh I don't... trust me, I've read the other posts and EVERYTHING that I can online and in books that says that this will be the hardest thing I'll ever do... I agree with them... I've fought fires much easier than this... I'm reading more self help books than you can shake a stick at... what I would like would be some support from men of God... as I said in a previous post, I'm on an island... I'm 800 miles from any family... my friends are busy with their lives, jobs, kids, wives... my Dad doesn't want to hear about this so I can't talk to my Mom about it any more... I just would love some support from those that I do know... that's all I'm looking for..

thanks, labug, you are always keeping me moving forward... I appreciate that... please do not think that my venting here is a sign that I'm not looking inward... I am... I just get frustrated and need to vent on occasion..