This all sounds very much like you are the victim in this.

Do you think you look or act like that man your W would be a fool to leave.?

What can you do to change that?

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss