Hey Brit I know what you mean about making the goals about H. I think in the earlier stages of DB'ing (before LRT, anyway), some of the goals M discusses in the book are about - what would your R look like if things were "great" tomorrow? - and make that a goal. That doesn't really work in some of our situations. I know I have run into trouble recently thinking of R goals because even though it looked like on paper they were being met, H still filed for D.
Anyway, it's always good to have personal goals. I think your weight loss is awesome and a testament to your perseverance! Have you done any specific programs that helped you out (i.e. specific exercise routines, yoga 2x/week, Zumba, whatever) that you could say - I'm going to do this X times or reps or minutes per week?
I think your R goal about enjoying love is good because it's less about your M and more about R's in general. I have found that since I started this journey a few months ago my relationships with friends and family have improved. Sometimes I even feel like I have X-ray-DB vision in that I can see through some outward expressions and figure out what emotional/logical thought process is going on underneath and it makes me slow down and be less reactive and judgmental toward others! What do you think about setting a goal (admittedly broad, so you could refine it to specifically fit yourself) to not only being open to enjoying love and closeness that is coming your way, but to be better about being open and expressive with respect to giving love to others? That's one of my goals, too How might you see yourself doing that with, say, S or a close friend of yours?
How might you see yourself doing that with, say, S or a close friend of yours?