Where do I go from here?

[Hopeful84]

Journaling....
Last night H was upset about the OW standing him up for something so he talked to me. He told me he hated his life, and I asked him what he hated about it? And he told me the situation he was in, and how he didn't know how to get out of it. He said he thought she told him to wait to come over because her drug dealer was there. He asked me if he should write her a pissy text back, and I said no. I told him that he should take a step back and look to see if this was the life he wanted for himself, if going out partying or being around people doing drugs, was something he needed or wanted in his future. If he wanted to lose all that we had worked for, for that? He tried to explain to me that the OW is upset, that he lives two separate lives- and that she can't come to see his house or meet his dogs (she tried this before, I stopped her) and I said, she is right, I don't know what fantasy world she lives in where she thinks thats ok. He said that the OW told him that she doesn't feel special because he isn't with her all the time, I told my H, she wants you to divorce me and with her, and he said well that's not what I want. But anyway... it was a good talk, where I just listened as his friend and told him that he really needed to evaluate his life and where it was going. He has been sweet to me ever since, and very sweet today. I mainly left him alone though, and when he was leaving suggested we take a break for a little bit, suggested a month to start out. He got upset, saying he would still come to the house and see the dogs and do his laundry and I said I didn't say he couldn't, and he didn't know why I was pushing him away. I just said, well right now it seems like your relationship with the OW is priority over our marriage, and I can't do this anymore. I still love you, but I can't feel this way anymore. I don't know if that is going against DBing, but I can't take it back now. I am trying to be there for my husband but also not let him think that what he is doing is okay with me, having a W and a gf, not okay. I may lose him in the end, but I cannot force him to love me or want a future with me. All I can do is focus on me, and what I need to be okay. I love him dearly, and hope that we can survive this, but somedays are more optimistic than others. Its like, if I pretend like nothing is wrong, things are great.. but heaven forbid I get upset because my husband is having an affair... so glad I have the rest of the weekend to myself to read DB again and process and set goals for myself