There was this euphoria of being FREE. Because of so long I'd felt weighed down by him, unhappy, depressed, repressed, abandoned, I'd put myself 2ed. But I massively felt guilty for being the one to end it, for knowing that he was unhappy, worried that he wouldn't be able to stand on his own two feet, and unsure if I'd made the right decision. But I clung to the excitement of being free and blocked out the bad feelings.
When it all caught up to me and I started having panic attacks, cried uncontrollably etc, I used to wonder how I could be the same person that felt that feeling before...but it was all false.
I think you just described my H perfectly. I'm dealing with the uncontrollable crying and sadness. And I'm not sure what to do.
