and I have no intention of being anything but cordial to her and explain quite simply that I have no money.
Funny, I had the same intentions when mine did this. Very similar (she left the cat she said she'd take, but took much more than we discussed as well). You're right, it's only money. And it is fun to get some new things which also help with the new memories, and so on. It's really a better outcome than it would be otherwise. But I highly suggest you let her figure out the money. Her perspective right now is that she has nothing and you owe her. I'm not saying that's a correct perspective, but it's what she is thinking or will be shortly as the pressure grows. Others are bound to reinforce that at some point. Let her talk to the lawyer. She won't believe you and you'll be wasting your breath.
Your son concerns me. A 13 year old protecting his father - not that you can stop that, but he does need some sort of outlet that allows him to be a kid. You're doing well to show him how to deal with it, but keep an eye on that right?
Quote:
It does totally stink, but I think I should be okay once all of the finances get sorted out and I know what I'm dealing with so I can develop a plan and stick with it.
Right. Exactly. But it will take a while. The thing about divorce is that people are unreasonable. Once the lawyers get involved, it gets uglier. It's what they do. Generally, you'll both walk away feeling like you didn't get what you "deserved". That's just how it is. But you have a really good approach - it is what it is, now how can I make it better. And it's only money. Keep that approach, and you'll be right as rain before you know it - financially. You might be surprised to see how a PMA helps you in all aspects of life - you may already know
Quote:
When W asked him about what we were doing, she went through 20 questions with him
funny how they do that. They leave, and still watch us like hawks... Go figure. Mine is getting remarried and as recently as a month ago went out of her way to let me know she knew things about me. Bizarre to me but what do I know? (actually, I know that I need to ignore her until she finally goes away the rest of the way to finish her trip; didn't get that for a long time I would have to be the one to leave; I'm a slow learner
Quote:
It was sad to hear him say that, then he said he was going to get us back together.
If he means that, then plan on getting him into therapy before too long. A few months or so before the winter holidays. If he's just saying that to express himself, perhaps he'll get things worked out, but I'd plan on getting him to talk to a specialist he can confide in.
Your W is way out of line. No question. Your S should not have to hear her conversations at her hen pecking parties. Your W will find out as soon as you cut the cord and let go, exactly what the blue skies, butterflies, and rainbows she bought into look like. For your son's sake and yours, do it sooner. Don't pay her bills. Don't help her. In any way. Remember how she talks about you and how that looks to your son before you act because it shows him things he will later repeat.
Have a great fourth!
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
