You're right, fig. I know he's not rational. But that's a post for another day. Let's just say he's an emotional mess right now. Here's my list...in no particular order:
I like having him there because (pre-bomb) when his arms are around me I feel safe, like finally no one can ever hurt me again. What I wouldn't give to have that feeling back.
I like having him there because he laughs with me, sometimes with me at myself. LOL He was the first person in a long time that let me know life sometimes is just not that serious.
I like having him there because he really does take good care of me. He makes me slow down and smell the roses, when all I want to do is clip some and put them in a vase on the table.
Fig, this is a really good exercise. I have more, but this is a start. I realized something yesterday. Even though we've been married for 3 years, I didn't start believing in my M until it was basically over. Sure I acted like a wife most days, but I never "felt" like one, if that makes sense. I mean, sure I loved him. I didn't know how to show him that because I never put any effort into believing I should have to. Nor effort into finding how to love HIM the way he needed to be loved.
I'm learning new stuff everyday on this journey. Some of it hurts, but is making me into a better RoRo.
