Let's see where things will take us...

[2thepoint]

Hey there NHM! I was wondering where your thread went, and here you are!

Well, H finally agreed to erase OW from all sources of contacts...FB, LinkedIn, phone. Yesterday, he was on his work laptop using Skype. Without thinking really, I asked him if he had deleted her from Skype as well. He hadn't....said that he forgot. But he did a couple of minutes later.

I did not realize that this significant event had occurred. That is truly a very big milestone and certainly an important one for you both to move forward.

H is not ready for MC yet, and my IC said yesterday that maybe we won't need it. So we'll see. All in all, I am very pleased and thankful with how things are going. We're kind to each other, affectionate, intimate. We try to spend more "us" time by going out to dinner or doing something else at least once a week. We check in with each other throughout the day. Day by day we're hopefully getting closer to a new kind of relationship.

This is all really great news. You've done a tremendous job and I admire your skill in navigating these incredibly rough waters.

I would only caution that although the OW may be out of the picture, it still doesn't mean that your H's head is completely out of the fog. I'm not trying to minimize your hard work. It just seems like there is still a lot of work to be done, which I think you realize. I'd hate for you and your H to declare victory only to find that some important issues that need to be resolved simply got swept under the rug.

I'm no expert regarding MC, but I think that some sort of group effort to work through some tough issues has to occur before you are completely out of the woods. I think you mentioned Retrouvaille as an option. Definitely keep that on your list of options. Also, your H's issues with abandonment from when he was a young child really seem to be something that require attention on your H's part. I fear continuing to neglect these will come back to bite you both in the future if not addressed.

I know these are things you know or have thought about. I just think that you need to keep them front and center as you continuing navigating this phase of your R.

I wish you all the best! (((NHM)))