Catching up on your thread.... you and I have some similar goals to work on: anger, GAL, and keeping up the house. I worked on some of these issues with my IC (who I saw for a year before the bomb.) I didn't know it at the time, but she was a "goal oriented" therapist... and it was exactly what I needed. It's best to be an active participant in your therapy sessions- ask for what you want and tell the C what your expectations are.
Mine would ask me what I wanted to accomplish, and then help me break it down into manageable building blocks. After all, how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time! I think that creating a practical "plan" on how to handle your various interactions- is a great idea. When I did this, it was a conscience effort, and over time I realized that it became habit and then became the "norm".
Not sure if you've had to deal with a sitch like this yet, but in learning how to handle my anger, the therapist taught me a "24 hour rule". Whenever H and I would get into a discussion/fight, I was to actively listen and not respond. I took all the input from him and held onto it for 24 hours- then I was allowed to respond if I wanted to. What happened was one of two things: 1. I would find that I didn't actually care about the issue and I could let it go. 2. I still felt strongly about the issue, but I was now in the logical (instead of emotional) frame of mind to discuss it with H. These conversations always led to a resolution instead of furthering the fight.
I eventually got to the place where I didn't have to wait 24 hours for my brain to tap into the logical side, I can do it pretty quickly... and I'm proud to say that I haven't yelled at H or anyone in over 10 months! Hopefully that technique can be useful to you.
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
