Hi MrD - I've been reading your posts and am sorry for the situation you're in. If you're hoping to get closer with your sons, moving 15 miles away and working longer hours is going to make that a challenge. Your first responsibility needs to be toward your kids; they did not choose or cause this and they have no control or say in it. They will only have what you're willing to give them of yourself.

It gets tricky at 12 and trickier later, when they have nonparental interests and activities - I can see that with my nieces who often blew off their weekends with their mom because of their parties or sporting events planned at their home (with dad, a long drive away from their mom's place).

I wish I had more advice for you but wanted you to know someone's here reading your posts, and hopefully you'll get someone with more experience than me.

Adinva 51, S20, S18
M24 total
6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out
9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50
5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend
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Happiness is a warm puppy.