TM, You have to look out for yourself first. You need to be asking your lawyer why he/she is drafting up the information. If your wife filed, then maybe her lawyer should be doing the work. However, we all know why your lawyer is doing it...now, don't we? It's called paying it out of your pocket, not hers. You know, she's smart and she knows exactly what she's doing when it comes to finances.
You need to sit down and weigh the pros and cons of your financial situation and determine what is best for your and your little one.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
STBXW wanted to take her/our things out of storage and put them into my garage, until she could sell the stuff at a garage sale. She wanted to split the profits with me. I told her that I just wanted to get the few possessions that I had in there and I was out. She was on her own with storing/selling the rest of the stuff.
She understandably was ticked off, but I frankly don't feel comfortable with having her boyfriend haul her possesions into my garage; pretending that all is ok; and rescuing her once again.
As I said before, this may make me an A-hole, but this pattern has to stop. The question I need to answer for myself is if I am standing up for myself, why do I feel guilty about it?
M:35 W:33 M: 5 yrs. Daughter: 2 yr .7/11/10 D Final: 8/7/12
You feel guilty because you still love and care about her. You've taken care of her the entire time that you've been married and in a way, you feel sorry for her because you know that she's going through something.
You have to stick to your boundaries and walk the straight and narrow or you'll be suck back into her drama. You did the right thing.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I returned the storage key to her at her work per her request, said thank you, and left. Boy, that was awkward! All her co-workers were kinda just staring at us. Oh well!
Then not 15 min. later she calls me (I didn't answer) and leaves a message that she just got in a arguement with her mother and apologized for her behavior.
Then 1 hr. later she calls me from another phone, which I answer because I thought it might be a client. She starts asking about D1's upcoming birthday plans and acting really sweet. She even wished me a good day at the end of the conversation!
Boy, she is really out there!
As for me, tonight I am going out to dinner and then a movie with a good friend.
Thanks Snod, for confirmation. I needed that.
M:35 W:33 M: 5 yrs. Daughter: 2 yr .7/11/10 D Final: 8/7/12
I have learned a lot about my self last night. In a moment of weakness and frustration, I went on 2 dates with a very nice woman, who is very shy. The reasons why I went out on them was wrong as it was to stroke my ego a little and see if I was ready for another relationship. I found out I am not.
I felt this little twinge of anxiety during both dates that grew increasingly as the second date went on. The person I went out with knew a little about my past and the current divorce process.
She told me last night that she was divorced after 6 years of marriage of which she was abused physically, mentally, and emotionally. She then got into another bad relationship which lasted 2 years and then had been single for 1 year.
I told her that she was an amazing person who didn't deserve that kind of treatment. I then told her that I would like to remain friends, but I am not ready for any kind of romantic relationship right now. I explained to her that I need to end my current emotional bond with STBXW, before getting into a relatioship with someone else, and by not doing that would not be fair to anyone involved. She seemed to understand.
I know that I am going to have to be alone for a long time in order to grow. My journey's path has become a little clearer.
M:35 W:33 M: 5 yrs. Daughter: 2 yr .7/11/10 D Final: 8/7/12
TM, I respect you even more after you advised your date that aren't ready for a serious romantic relationship. It will take time and you will know when you are ready to actually move on to a romantic relationship.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
STBXW is really trying to reel me in. She invited me to be friends on FB after dumping me from it 6 months ago. I have not accepted nor responded.
She has been trying to be xtra nice to me lately and as usual puts on this front that she is the rational one that want to be friends and all of this is just 2 people not meant to be togther. Sometimes it starts getting me to think that I am crazy!
I had a great time this weekend with D1 at the splash park. Her birthday is coming up soon and STBXW wants to have a party at the splashpark, which is a great idea. I'll have to sacrifice going dim for a day for D1.
At least there'll be cake!
M:35 W:33 M: 5 yrs. Daughter: 2 yr .7/11/10 D Final: 8/7/12
STBXW is going off on me because I want to pay D1's school directly instead of paying her as was intially agreed (because I was told that there couldn't be any other way of doing it at the time). The school takes money out for the tuition directly from her account. I told her that I had time to reconsider the issue and would feel better paying directly and working it out with the school.
I can see where STBXW would be ticked, but I want to make sure that my half of D1's tuition is being paid and that I am not paying any extra that STBXW doesn't have to pay. She is already lobbying for Childcare assistance for the tuition and would charge me full price. Being I am in financial straights myself, I don't like that idea.
There has got to be a way that the school can take money from the both of us as this can't be an unique situation. Unfortunately the director is gone on vacation for a week, so I will pay STBXW for the month and then go from there.
I am tired of feeling anxious and scared. I am tired of the threats and demands.
I am tired.
M:35 W:33 M: 5 yrs. Daughter: 2 yr .7/11/10 D Final: 8/7/12
TM, If the school administrator is aware of your situation, they should be more than willing to work it out w/you. Your wife is trying to control you and the situation. Stick to your boundaries and continue doing what you are doing. If you can pay the school directly, then do so. Also, by doing so, you have proof of the payments for tax purposes.
Take a deep breath and do not allow her to get under your skin.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
