I was hanging out with one of my friends last night. He does a good job trying to help keep me in check, just like all of you do. I was telling him how odd it was being single and he quickly reminded me that I am not single, I am still married! That was a good gut check. Him and his wife went on to tell me what a good dad I am, it kills me as I write this, just so so so hard!!
My friend always saw me spend a lot of time with my kids. My reply was that it’s a lot different being a part time dad. He reminded me that I am a full time dad. He said the part time dads are the ones that don’t help provide financial support or only see their kids when they HAVE TO. (My W is very flexible on when I can see the kids) I think my friend did a fantastic job reminding me of a couple very important points.
Another point, I was telling my friend about a interaction I had with my son the other day. From time to time I ask my son how’s he’s feeling about all of this. My son asked me why mom was doing this to us? My response was mom didn’t do anything wrong, you didn’t do anything wrong, it’s nobody’s fault. My friend told me that when I say it’s nobody’s fault my son might get more confused, maybe wondering if in fact it’s his fault. My friend said a better response might be something along the lines of mommy and daddy are having problems right now. And leave it at that. That’s the truth anyway, right? He’s 8 and he’s really good at picking up on things.
Once again, thank you for reading my thread and providing input. I always appreciate all of your opinions. Even though I’ve never met any of you personally, we are all going through one of, if not the most difficult times in our lives. We all care about our marriage so much and most of us here seem to have some common goals. We are all looking to better ourselves, our lives, our marriages and our families.
I truly hope all of you have a successful journey reaching your goals and are able to find helpful solutions along the way. All of us can have happy, fulfilling lives. If there’s new people reading this, I truly feel you’ve came to the right spot. I am blessed to have found this site and the amazing people on it. To the more senior people here. Your time, knowledge and effort to help others is an amazing and selfless act that I will always be thankful for. Love to all!
Me(M):37 W:42 T: 14 M: 11 S: 8 D: 4 W wanted separation 5/5/12 Stopped living together 5/5/12 Currently in DB stage
“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude”. Thomas Jefferson
