I think it should be wwzd because I like to think of Zena (warrior princess) as that strong confident woman inside of us we're trying to be! I love whoever said what would the woman you want to be do? Because that's such a great thing to strive for that person that you want to become.
I had a great night with hardly any thoughts of H. I don't even feel the need to check his FB page anymore. I listened to music I hadn't heard in ages. Talked to friends made plans to have drInks after work laughed with my son. I remember a time when even being in my own home alone felt strange. I remember going to he'd alone, turning off the lights all felt strange and I constantly thought about what H was doing.
I'm not sitting around actively thinking about growth, detachment, and the sitch. I am finally just living, being in the moment, without a man. The other day I thought about H living with her and I thought gosh that must be weird. If I'd done all that surely a part of me would think my life has changed so quickly and that makes me a little bit scared. I'm not scared now. I'm not running to get to a goal. When I walked away I was. When I went out every weekend and met loads of guys I was. If we never R and this is all there is I'll be okay. I've gained this independence and calm I never had. I know I want a M that looks different to what I had and I'm not sure who that will be with
This line for me shows just how far you've changed your whole outlook.
Quote:
I'm not scared now. I'm not running to get to a goal. When I walked away I was. When I went out every weekend and met loads of guys I was.
What it says to me Brit, is that you aren't looking outwards to get something to fill your life, while all this is happening. No, the new Brit is looking inwards, finding herself again, learning new things about herself and experiencing new things.
I think you've just made me realise why GAL and your ME time is so important to recovery, no matter what is going on in your sitch.
You sound so positive Brit, keep enjoying life and keep posting.
Bill
Me 34 W 32 D 9 S 6 M: 9 years T: 12 Bomb: 02/11/12 EA/PA: 12/17/11 - ongoing Moved out: Oct 2012 Joint Filed for D: 2/11/13
That was a great starter for me this morning. I love the light hearted, fun, flirty nature. I think it actually changed my mindset to starting off my day. I think we all need more of that, without expectations....just fun.
Originally Posted By: Brit45
If we never R and this is all there is I'll be okay. I've gained this independence and calm I never had. I know I want a M that looks different to what I had and I'm not sure who that will be with
I've found myself in a similar place. I still love my W with all my heart, but I find that I'm happy for the hardships because they've resulted in good change in me. I think I can be happy for the first time in my life. W and I were actually talking about this the other night and while I wish our lives were blissful from the beginning, I am happy things got worse because I don't like the idea of being just happy enough not to leave.
You sound like you are in such a good place. I'm happy for you! Keep it up!
Loving your attitude Brit. I agree about wanting a M that is different to what I had. I m not yet where you are in terms of it possibly being with omen else. But I am working to get there. I am starting to accept that I may have to just accept that there will not be another chance.
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
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