I'm so glad you checked in with us. I've been worried about you.
I'm so very sorry for the situation you are in. Number one: I do not think you are in victim mode. I know you are a strong, smart, capable and loving woman and mother and that you will do whatever is necessary to support your children and give them the best life possible. I know you've had to depend on your parents and inlaws in the past during difficult financial times. Is this still a possibility in the case you need it?
Second, PLEASE keep posting, if for any reason your own sanity. I know in my case it was helpful to me to come here and just dump my emotions at times. I don't believe you will find judgment here and certainly that people do not find you "hopeless"; at least I do not! If anyone understands doing what you have to do to keep your head above water, it is me. I think you are strong for what you are doing, and I'm so grateful your children have you to depend on.
So let's talk solutions... what does your husband say about the car being broken down? Is this something that can be fixed for a reasonable price once you and/or he are paid again? If not, and in the meantime, is he willing to share his vehicle with you for getting to your job and grocery shopping, etc? If not, do one of your parents have a vehicle you can borrow?
Secondly...the mortgage....are you behind terribly or just one month? Are there programs in your country that allow you a bit of wiggle room while times are tough? Do you see yourself getting caught back up and able to maintain the mortgage? If not, how do you feel about putting the house on the market? Or, do you have a room you can rent out? Even if this is something you dread, would that make things better for your sitch as it is today? When my husband left me (and we were not in the best of financial situations either), we had no choice but to put the house on the market. It broke my heart in a million pieces because we built our home as our dream home, but I knew in my heart that I was willing to do whatever it was to take care of my children in the best possible way. Our home didn't sell (the market in the US stinks, in case you haven't heard!), and just this past month, my husband decided to take it off the market! The point is: do what you have to do for now, and worry about things as they come. Maybe the house will sell and you can move to what turns out to be a better place for you and the kids; maybe your husband will come back and you will reconcile and you won't have to worry with it. Whatever happens in time, you WILL be able to deal with it. I have complete faith in you!
Keep talking to us, and let us know what's going on. We are here for you....
