You mention that you need to work on your insecurities, and jealousy issues...
Why do you think that you are like that ?
Where do you think that the root of those issues lives ?
I would like to see more of your focus onto what you can control, and setting goals for your life that include things that are just for you.
I read that you recently ( ? ) went to your son's baseball game, and were miffed at the lack of presence from your wife...
That is a waste of energy, and you are giving away too much of your power in those situations. Sometimes, we need to find the good in any situation. And the more we focus on the bad, the more the bad stares us down and attacks us.
What part of DBing, would allow you to change how you view scenarios like that in the future ?
The things that you are seeing, aren't normal behaviors of a woman that is ready to commit to a marriage right now. It suks, yet it is a reality that you are facing.
I would ask that you set yourself up, with a list of things that you do not like about yourself.
Listen to the complaints of your wife, and really think about them. DB says to believe none of what they say, although in this instance, you should really listen to her, and the things that YOU want to change within yourself, you should look at.
In the early stages, I made a list of qualities that I wanted to show the world every day. And those things were for me, and me alone. I did my best to live up to my own standards daily...regardless of the craziness around me.
There are some things also that I read, that I would like for you to think about....
Do you think that you have displayed any of those ???
Our choice when we decide to post here, is to be different than we were before. We decide that the old way isn't/wasn't working anymore. And that there is a different way of thinking and behaving.
In the past, we operated with the set of tools that we gained through a lifetime of observing the people that we respected the most.
What we gain with DB, is a different set of tools that we carry toward the future.
