My wife and I went through two BIG days of our custody case at the local courthouse. Everything was presented and the judge will be reserving his judgement for next Tuesday (July 3). All allegations against me have been officially dropped and the temporary supervised visitation order has been lifted.
There three outcomes that came come out of this: 1. Our son remains here in CA 2. Our son is split 50:50 between CA and SC (where my wife wants to be) 3. The court recommends me to move to SC w/ mom and E
Based on the closing statements from the judge alone, the last one is probably unlikely. The gist of it is that the judge was not amused with my wife (and her lawyers). I'll be more than happy to fill you in with more information if you like. There's just so much that went on that I think I'd go nuts just trying to write everything here in one sitting.
Then last night, here's what occurred:
My wife came unannounced to my house last night and basically cried her heart out and confessed her faults to me. She was not rude or judgmental like the previous time she knocked on my door awhile back. I was cautious the entire time, but I'm 85% sure that the things she said were heart-felt and sincere. Here are some of the things she/I brought up (not exactly in chronological order):
- She said she feels lost and is living a nightmare - She apologized profusely with the knowledge that she's been hurting E because of what she's done to me over the past two years - She admited that over the two years she has become what she had tried so hard to not be: like her family. They are vengeful, hateful and toxic - She wants to all three of us (her, E and I) to be together; she doesn't want to see E hurting anymore - I made my stand on the reasons why I don't intend on moving to SC and my wife says she understands and says that I have every right to that - She noticed that I have a wall up around myself and she said she understands; I said that it's more of a boundary - She kept apologizing while postrating on the ground; I said I wasn't angry with her, but I reminded her why I've created boundaries - She feels like God cannot forgive her or even look at her; I reassured her otherwise - I confessed my faults to her that led to her leaving; she acknowledged that she enabled it also - I confessed that I didn't place God as #1 during our marriage and that allowed Satan to play with our faults. I also mentioned that in order for anything to possibly work between us, God needs to be right there at the top. She agreed - I offered to pray before she left. She accepted and we held hands as we talked to God for awhile - I gave her a hug at the door
There was a little talk in-between about her work, or lack of work if she stays here. I told her that I really hope that she'd be able to achieve her dream of being a doctor, but I tried to make it clear that it's her career now, not mine. I guess she has to make some tough decisions right now.
With all that said, I'm not sure what to make of this. I'm still keeping my channels open, but at the same time keeping my stance and expectations on an even keel. It's possible that she's desperate and is reacting desperately. It's also possible that she's truly hit rock bottom and needs all the help to get back up. I feel that I know her enough that she was experiencing the latter. Only time will tell.
She did not pressure me or lay expectations or caveats to guilt me into moving to SC. And if I felt she implied it, I made it clear that I won't move UNTIL (a) she is in a better place and (b) WE are in a better place.
Until then I'm staying my position, but I am tempted to text her to thank her for her courage to talk to me last night. Hmmm...
