swimming with turtles and some guidance

[zig]

thanks need grace and KD -

need grace thanks for reminding me that often just the awareness leads to some sort of new insight.

KD , in terms of some problems not needing solutions - well, this one does and maybe it's not so much a solution as doing something different. i need to do something different here. i'm the parent and he's the child and i feel that it is up to me to deflect going down the path of that old pattern.

i think that the reason it hasn't been coming up is because i have been doing it differently, and that tonight i was raw and so got caught off guard. which of course is telling, that this one is still a change that hasn't become solid within me and i have to work at it some more and find out what's going on within me that causes me to react that way.

i'm having trouble validating him during these times, which of course makes it worse.

to be really honest - i guess i still tend to get defensive when i feel that i am not listened to - the same pattern with h, and so this has come up at an opportune time for me to work on it and be more aware.

onward and upward - one more little step to take...

thanks both of you