Hi Everyone, Im reading a great book that I feel all the ladies should read. It's called "Act like a Lady, Think Like A Man" by Steve Harvey.
This is a very good book, and I encourage ladies to read it. What I like about it? It's written by a man, about men. It's a great morale boost and encouragment to women to be confident and to have standards. To have boundaries, to stick to them and to command respect, but act as a lady in sending out that message. It made me feel better because this was the woman I used to be, but over time that woman kinda faded off into no where. She became a ghost really, but by working on myself and GAL in ways that make me content and happy, she's coming back to life!
To be honest, the latter years of my marriage I really felt like I was WRONG to want to have a better marriage, a better connection and intimacy with XH. My standards for life, my goals, and my desires were changing.Funny thing, when you have kids and want them to grow to be the best person they can be, it urges you to grow and be the best person you can be as a parent. However I felt I was somehow doing something wrong because XH never seemed to be on the same page with me on anything in regards to personal goals, goals as a family, and working on a better future as a whole. I guess I felt that way because of his overall responses or attitude towards me when I would talk about these things were negative or completely empty. For some reason because he wasn't excited to work on new goals as a family and as individuals, it made me feel like I was a fool for wanting it.
I think Im finally stepping into the finality of truly letting go. It's still hard as hell, because I do miss the friendship, and I do miss having him as my co parent by my side to help with the kids. But I do stand firm that a true friend would never continue to treat another friend like he has me...and I know that goes for all other LBS's. I mean we all make mistakes, but we usually learn from them! Especially when someone important has been hurt, even if you're intentions were never to hurt them in the first place.
He was right about one thing and that it yes, we grew apart. I don't like that term because it seems so cliche' yet at the same time indicates an actual positive growth. When I hear that term, "grow apart" I take it as two people growing and going in positive directions in their life, but those directions really do lead in opposite directions, and in order to fullfill this growth staying together is not feasible.
As I look at XH and myself I do see us in a position for growing intellectually and spiritually. My journey had already begun a few years ago, but I felt held back by him and frustrated by him because he didn't want to join me. As for him and now in MLC, well it really is a chance to grow, but boy the starting line sure is awful. I look at an MLCer as if they're an 18 year old stuck in a 40 - 50 somethings body, but with all the memories still attatched.
