One of the problems in my M was that my H was starting to feel like he was my caretaker. My MS had really taken a toll on me, and I stopped doing many things in my life, even on days where i felt good enough to do them. I kind of gave up ..... and let him handle many things that I probably could have done myself.
My H shared with me that after feeling this way for some time, he stopped having romantic feelings, or sexual feelings. He didn't see me as his partner sometimes, but a woman he is taking care of. It was not my disease that caused the problem, but my reaction to my disease and my giving up and letting him carry most of the burdens.
It really got to a point where he would jump in and do things before I would even ask him to. Sound familiar, WHG? And although he loves me, he got tired of it. He was seeking a partner that could stand on her own feet sometimes. It came to a point where I relied upon him totally.
When H was ready to walk out, and he told me how he just felt like a caretaker, it really struck me then and I realized that over the years things had changed a lot.
When I decided to empower myself and stop being dependent, he took notice that I was still that strong independent woman he fell in love with.
I can't say I ever got angry with my H when he wouldn't do something for me, our situation was a little different, but I do understand as a woman how I became dependent on him.
With my first M, I had the experience of being a single mother and it was very hard. By the time I got to my 2nd M, I enjoyed having a husband who was so willing to do so much for me, but allowing that behavior to go on for so long was unhealthy for both of us.
