An excellent question. I wish I could answer that. Beyond what I've already been doing, I just don't know. I ponied up the extra money to get back on my ADs, which has been a big help in getting me back towards where I was 3 months ago, mentally.
A part of the reason it's taken this long for us to get to MC has been because I haven't put any pressure on her about this, and have been sincerely trying to not put any on her in any way at all. She told me a couple of weeks ago that it was my job to set the appointment up, to stop waiting on her. Prior to this, there'd been little-to-no discussion since our visit with the pastor we've been working with since February.
It really is hard to say what it is that W wants, she hints VERY heavily towards D, but won't come out and say it, if that's actually the case. She admits that she doesn't know what she's feeling, beyond she doesn't think we can work it out. She's gone on to say that she wants to see if she can find the feeling with someone else and that she might come back, or she might not.
Of course, I guess that there's the possibility that she ISN'T hinting at D, but I really don't know what else she could mean. I'm trying not to have any expectations, but it's hard to not think about.
In a weird way, I really do understand where she is coming from. My frustration about the lack of communication stems mostly from the fact that she won't let us have that conversation, then later tells me we're not reconnecting emotionally. I know I can't get her to see it my way. It got really hard to not say something. I spoke my piece, though, and it's off my chest.
The only thing I've actually asked of her is to keep an open mind and heart about the MC, that I would accept and do whatever the C suggests, in conjunction with the pastor's advice.
Things have become relatively calm, but it's probably akin to the calm before the storm.
Me: 31 W: 28 M: almost 6 T: 10.5 S2 Bomb#1: 05/11 Bomb#2: 11/11 S'd: 11/28/11 Moved back in: 12/28/11 MC: 06/28/12
