To be honest i really cannot say what all of my Wifes issues really are. Do I have that discussion with her at this point??
Are you sure you don't know a lot of them already? You know three: -withdrawn -not very communicative -things said while drinking
Maybe add holding EA over her head or something like that?
When I asked for that list during a discussion (and I wrote them down as she rattled them off) I wasn't actually too surprised at most of them, once I did some self-reflection, sorta like I knew deep down where I wasn't measuring up, but was repressing/rationalizing. But yes, there were some surprises...There was also a look of relief after she was done btw...all the things she didn't/couldn't say, OR, that I wasn't "hearing" for so long, so maybe it was cathartic for her.
As to whether ask for it now? You know your W...but could it hurt? You have shared experiences with kids/grandkids/etc where you will need to interact for years to come, so there is your "reason" if she asks...you want better interactions going forward for the kids and grandkids sake, or something like that...
It really helps to open yourself up and go through the self-reflection processes by posting here, imo.
A couple books I recommend, in addition to the DB books, are what women want men to know (lots of eye-openers here...thanks Kimmerz!), it will help in your next R, which hopefully will be with your W. And if the A is still twisting you up, google break free from the affair, its an ebook. I talked about it in my original thread, gives reasons, logic, perspective and action items.
Hang in there! T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
