I’ve been told by several people to never give up. I agree and I don’t plan on it. What I find interesting is when I don’t’ initiate calls, GAL, detach, etc….They seem to be things that might appear to W like I am giving up. When in all actuality, I am not giving up. (the whole counterintuitive thing)
I rarely initiate calls or emails to my wife. She initiates emails to me daily. A lot of it has to do with the transferring of some of the bills and the logistics with the kids. Every now and then she will add comments like,

“I hope you’re doing good”
“Did you know I was born in ABC city?”
“How was the night with the kids last night?”

I just don’t know what to make of them and how/when to respond. Who knows, maybe I am over analyzing things. This is probably all just normal stuff during separation?

I need to continue the 180’s but they seem like they’re moving along at a snail’s pace. I am having a really hard time thinking of some 180’s that can quickly be implemented.
My W seems to have 2 major marriage killers. My financial instability and helping out with things, (domestic stuff). She likes everything planned out and in order. Here’s a list of some of my 180’s.

I REALLY need to start making bonuses at work.

I need to start contributing to kids college fund.

I need to always make sure my house is clean.

I need to start buying the kids some new clothes.

I need to participate more in taking the kids to their doctor/dentist appointments.

I need to pay off some neglected bills.

I need to buy new clothes for myself.

I need to regularly take the kids to get their haircuts.

I need to spend more time playing with the kids when I drop them off at W’s apartment.


Thanks Accuray for helping me do some brainstorming with my 180’s but as you can tell, I am still struggling with them.. They are all important however I think it will make a huge difference if I can REALLY focus on the first one on my list. It might take me a couple months to start getting bonuses. In the meantime I need to focus on my 180’s that don’t cost money. Any other ideas?

My W always hated the messy garage. She doesn’t live in the house anymore and I now have it spotless, go figure. I feel a bit odd helping her out with the domestic stuff at her apartment because I don’t spend much time over there, I feel like it would be out of place to start washing her dishes when I do a kids drop off.

Me(M):37
W:42
T: 14
M: 11
S: 8
D: 4
W wanted separation 5/5
Stopped living together 5/5
Currently in DB stage

“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude”.
Thomas Jefferson