Blood on the Tracks

[tested metal]

The spam hit the fan when she found out about the tax return being used in the child support calculation. I expected that. She called and threatened, demanded, and tried to guilt me into giving her head of household and not using her tax info for child support. After listening to 3 minutes of her ranting at me, especially for not talking to her about primary residential for educational purposes only (which I appologized for previously), I finally lost it and reminded her about how inconsiderate she was when she decided to cheat multiple times and not inform me that she was done with the relationship prior. Then I said that if she is is mad, TOUGH! and hung up.

The next day D1 was sick so I spent the last 2 days taking care of her. STBXW is back to thanking me and calling me hon again. It is actually starting to irritate me.

I realized yesterday that I actually hate STBXW for basically making me a part time father. I am doing the best that I can to make the best of the time I have with D1, but I am greiving the time and things that I am missing when she is gone.
I am not a hateful person either. I don't usually use that word period.

So right now STBXW's L is letting my L do all the work drafting up the stipulation. I think I am going to have a talk to my L about this. Why is she doing the work? I didn't file, but I am going to be charged for the time spent drafting this thing? WTH?

I am probably going to give STBXW my share of head of household on a year to year basis as it would help our child. I just didn't want to give up any rights that I may need myself in the future.

As for using the tax return, I feel a bit guilty as I know that this doesn't reflect her current income. She quit one of her jobs after filing for the D, claiming that she then could spend more time with D1. I am sure that some of that is true, but couldn't she have just cut back hours?

I also have to work 2 jobs and have to balance time with D1 and work. I could see paying child support if she had D1 for a majority of the time, but we have her 50/50. Basically it comes down to if I have to pay child support, I will not have enough money to support D1 in my own home, will need to work even more, and will lose time with D1. If I don't have to pay child support, STBXW will need to get another job, and will lose time with D1.

The darn thing is a lose-lose situation, so I guess I need to take care of myself. I just feel sorry for D1. She does not deserve this.