In home separation? Off / On? Still WAW? Dunno

[breakdownbill]

Hi SS

My W has got so many issues with my family, they are far from perfect just like anyone's family. The main issue is and has always been how my Mum & Dad treat my sisters kids like their own and our 2 kids well not the same to be polite.

here's a quick summary why my wife has beef with my family...

When our 1st child was born my family were all on holiday - my first week of being a dad was on my own. Wheras my Mum deliberately never went on holiday within 3 months of my sister having her kids and openly said she couldn't miss it.

My mum used to have my sisters kids 3 days a week & would baby sit for my sister every Saturday. We only ever see my Mum on a Sunday if we go to their house. If we asked them to baby sit (when MIL couldn't - she wouldn't have the kids overnight & would want us back by midnight (no point in going out, we usually don't go out until about 10 - as everywhere stays open 'til 5am)

We invited them to come away with us to Florida - all together. when my sister said she couldn't afford to go when we wanted to go, they booked their holiday & then told us we've booked to go with my sister & her kids in October instead.

Loads of things really, which annoy me about my family & I've had it out with my Mum before, but it doesn't change anything - things are the way they are. I never married into my own family, I'm stuck with them and I love them for all their flaws.

When we'd go round every sunday for 5 hours, it would be non stop noise - everyone talks over each other & non-stop food. It caused so many arguments between me & my wife, when I hated going round there just as much as she did.

I don't go around every Sunday now, maybe once a month with just the kids.

I never used to validate my wife when she would complain & argue about my family, I would go quiet & get annoyed, because I was conflicted & I used to be like, 'I haven't done anything, why are you shouting at me'.

So I can see why she resents them so much, I'm working on my validation to her complaints of my family, but it's tough.

Does / Did your H ever validate your complaints about his family?

I'm learning that unanswered complaints or unresolved issues over a long period of time build and build more resentment.

Bill