So last night got even more interesting. I made sure I was in "my" room with the doors shut when H got home, which was around 8:30. He came and knocked on the door. He told me he looked at the tires and yes the front ones need replaced (duh!). He said about calling the local place, which is what I was going to do. I said I will, they are open 8-5, I will call at work tomorrow. He went on to start to say something about the tire size, I interrupted and rattled off the exact size of the tires (I am quite capable of reading the tire), he just looked at me. I told him I appreciated him looking at the tires, and didn't mean to inconvenience him. Then he said something that didn't make much sense (shocking I know). In the same breath he says, well, good you need to learn how to take care of this stuff because there's going to come a time real soon I'm not here to help. Then he goes on to say, I guess I'm saying you should use the resources you have access to, while you have them. I really was just too stunned to say anything, so I just turned back to the tv (gotta love Big Bang Theory!). He left and a few minutes later I hear another knock at my door (OMG, right?). So he comes in and I make him wait 30 seconds because I was in the middle of a game of Scramble on my phone LOL. He starts with his usual, I don't want to start a fight, and I know you don't want to talk about this stuff on a work night, but I wanted to know if anything has changed. I told you I wanted to have a plan in 90 days, and it's been 90 days. (Well no, no he didn't he said I "had to have a plan by July 1" not the same thing). I was thinking, really, he actually remembers that??? A friend reminded me later he remembered because it was convenient to him. I was proud of me, I said, nothing has changed for me, but like I said I really do NOT want to talk about this on a work night, I hope that is ok with you, but I don't want to talk about it now. He looked slightly irritated and said you don't want to talk about it on a work night and I don't want to talk about it on the weekend. LOL so, what, did he think I was going to change my boundary because the world revolves around him??? And BTW go me, for setting a boundary and sticking to it in the first place, 180! Also I was just kinda like whatever, I think he wanted me to get mad and cry, but I didn't. He knows where the door is, good luck leaving, plus he doesn't realize he will be paying more with rent and utilities then he does in paying just the mortgage here..... but I'm sure mommy is still pulling the puppet strings and she has no idea how this nice girl isn't going to roll over. I love H, but I'm not getting financially screwed. He brought this on himself, so he will have to deal with whatever happens.
After I talked to H last night, I was texting a dear friend, and then she called me. She's like wanna do a 180 go get some boxes and give them to him, then tell him you will help him pack. I said I could do that if he brings up leaving again, but I want to stick to the boundary I have set, so he doesn't think he got his way, because quite frankly I'm sick of him getting his way and acting like he's 16. She said good point. I said I have no problem telling him to leave if he's not happy, by all means do so, I don't want to be the one to stand in the way of his happiness. However, have fun remaining married for 2 years because I still don't want a divorce, it's his divorce and I won't help him with it.
My friend thinks he just got pissed because he wanted me to need him more for the tire thing, but wanted to be mad at me for needing him because he's dodging responsibility. Then it upset him to see I didn't get upset when he threw it out there that he's still leaving. I think she is right. Thoughts anyone? Snodderly~ I googled the tires, they are fine, but thank you for the tip, I wouldn't have thought of that! Yep the toys keep coming, I don't think the car is coming, at least right now, he just put a few new decals on the back of the vehicle he has now, I wouldn't think one would do that if they were getting rid of the vehicle, but what do I know, he's insane. T~ lmao..... I probably shouldn't laugh, but really, how does one spend that much at a thrift store??? Did she buy the ENTIRE store?
kml~We do have a Costco around here. I am just going to take it to a local place, they are excellent and always treat you right, no matter who you are. It's where I went last winter when I drove over the well cap. LOL They didn't charge me to check out the car and put more air in the tires. They are good people.
Wendy~ It's funny you should mention the "being happy in a way I had forgotten I used to be." A friend and I were talking about that the other day pertaining to me. I can do what I want and don't have to worry about taking care of H, or his schedule... my friend was funny, she said I know he's your H and all, but I always thought you never did a lot of things you really wanted too because you were too worried about how it would affect him. An interesting observation. She said she never said anything because she didn't want to hurt my feelings. Who knows how this will end up, but I know, no matter what, he's not the center of the universe, and he will need to realize that too if he would ever get his head out of his ass. The other thing I know for a fact is, he's not getting the best of both worlds, if he does in fact leave and screw up our marriage beyond repair, I will NOT be his friend outside of our marriage. I can't do that, it would be way to painful for me, and it's time I start thinking about me for a change.
