W did her search for thing-happiness at thrift stores (thankfully not Macy's )...hundreds of dollars a month...do you know how much stuff hundreds of dollars buys??? a month??? All the thrift stores in town knew/know her by name and mood...this went on for 3 years. I couldn't say anything at the time, she would flip sh!t or use waif tactics on me (they still worked then)...I just would shake my head when she wasn't looking.
One branch even opened a THRIFT STORE OUTLET...yup, an outlet, where they charge BY THE POUND for stuff that didn't sell in the regular stores...we had a van...W asked me to take the seats out... then we lost half our house, it still came in a found its way into the garage, along with the half house things not destroyed...i finally had to tell her that she had to fill the van with stuff to re-donate before she could bring more in. This was right before BD, btw, when I finally stood up.
During one of her alien spew fests at my expense she railed on my spending all these years, etc (one of our M issues)...so I downloaded the last 3 years of bank transactions, did some evil spreadsheet sorting and totalled up her thrift store addiction, 5 figures, and gave it to her, printed out, in full. Funny how "my" spending issue became "our" spending issue all the sudden.
This was in Feb when I was thinking I was "done" and considering kicking her out...she started changing shortly thereafter, I sometimes wonder if that was a first reality check that started her questioning herself and what she thought she knew or something...I will probably never know...
The sadness, tiredness and drained feelings will start dissipating and be shorter and farther between...they will still sneak up on ya, but you will do better with them...time and practice are our friends...
You are doing great!!!! and !!
T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
)...hundreds of dollars a month...do you know how 
