I'm not sure really what jump started it. Throughout the process I only had 2 slip ups from a pursue mode. I did give her space. At the end I finally accepted her threats of D verbally but NEVER pushed a D. I basically said I accept your decision. I even showed up to mediator and found a 1 year lease to a condo. I also started looking for a job. I own my own business. I also consistantly went to counseling and still do. I did GAL every night. I mean every night I GAl'd.
Even Michele says sometimes they snap out of it. But somewhere there is a bullet list of 27 things not to do. Follow them. Do not pursue. Act like your ok with moving on. At the end I was ready to live a single life. I was putting the pieces together to do that .
Hardest thing to do is detach . I never ever did. Ask kd lol. I certainly didn't obsess about situation at night cuz I GAl'd .
every sitch is different . For me my daughter had event. Me and w joked and laughed like old days. We were intimate that night. She actually cried after which bugged me the F out. We've been intimate ever since but just 2 weeks of being back home and all tfe fun and intimacy she telling relatives just for kids and one day I'll get the balls to leave me. I was like is this lady for real? But I told myself she just saving her face. She told everyone including kids it was over. 1 month later we still joking and intimate .
I've learned to give space and not react to her foolishness. That's the key NOT react. It's like taking oxygen out of a fire.
We have so much work . Communication is weak. But there is a time and place to start these conversations.
For example tonight we are alone. I want to talk about things. But she exhausted and actually we just chilled.
I really don't understand how I'm back home but I am. I never ever gave up and if you heard the crap my W spewed out her mouth and through email u would be blown away
