Oh Snodderly, I have been doing well.... until today. Today freaking svcks! Went in to get my oil changed, and of course nothing can be simple. The guy came out to get me and show me some of the metal threads are coming through on the tires, I need new ones. I of course am not a tire expert, but figured not to get them at the dealer, too expensive. I texted H, of course he didn't reply, probably not at work like he should be. He would never take time off before to do things with me, but now he will take random time off for everything else...whatever. The guy at the dealer made me promise to get them taken care of ASAP because it's not safe, I really shouldn't be driving with them. I told him I would get it taken care of. Ah, so comforting when a stranger is more worried about my safety then my H. Well I got home and H called me. Which made me want to throw the damn phone across the room, but I didn't. H just said it's my car (in both our names, thanks so much), my decision, but he would look at it because he found it hard to believe the tires would be doing that on the car already because it's not that old. I told him not to inconvenience himself and I would take care of it. What a complete and total jackass! I'm sure if it was some random woman he would have bent over backwards to help them..... He used to be in the tire business, that's why I figured I should call him to begin with.
This just also adds to the irritation of the addition of his latest toy, which showed up last night.... a rather large lawn/garden cart to pull all of his shooting crap around. I saw him putting it together when I went downstairs to get some of my gardening things. I also, had to wrestle with the new hose reel I got.... I thought it would be easier, nope, a hassle too. Can't win, that's all there is to it. After I got the hose squared away I started weeding around the front of the house. H comes up to the window and asks me, if I "have plans for the tv". I told him no, have at it. I think he was trying to see if his new toy pissed me off, it didn't (just irritating, must be nice to buy whatever the heck you want), because I mean really, I'm weeding, and when do I ever want the tv anymore???
Wendy, I have been using your detachment techniques.... even picture the word detach, flashing like a neon sign in my head... it's just not working today. One would think after this much time a person would realize all the useless crap in the world isn't going to provide the happiness they are looking for. One would also think they would see their spouse is their biggest supporter, NOT the arch nemesis, but what do I know?
I feel so tired all the time, drained.... I thought I was sleeping ok, maybe I'm not. Who knows. I'm just sad today. I'm tired of being sad, and crying, and being tired. Will it ever end?
