swimming with turtles and some guidance

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weeeelll - it won't make much difference - i only do this twice a year - for x'mas and s's b'day!! sorry (grin)

journaling-

h brought s home from his class. he was tired, i offered him some ice water - instead he lay down in the foyer to rest - both of them were covered in glaze and clay - sent s off to wash up.

went out for a ciggie, then came back and walked up to h and said - i want you to stop knocking when you come over. he protested about us needing space, i said i create my own space, i don't need anyone else to give it to me. it's always bothered me and i prefer if you just walk in - besides i know when you are coming over.

then we talked about the menu - confirming the last details - we went out to the garage to see what was in the freezer there - he suddenly says - hey can i have this fridge? i said -well the other one in the kitchen is on it's last legs, and i might need it. besides isn't your dad furnishing the whole house. he said no, he was trying to do it as cheap as possible and he was planning to buy it off them eventually.

as we walked back in i just laughed and said - sure you can have the fridge - it's not like i won't be able to afford to buy my own if i need one. he got a bit funny and said well we don't need to talk about stuff like that right now. so i joked back and teased him a bit and said - hey we should start now and spread it over the months one bit at a time so it's not that much to deal with all at once - sort of patted him on his shoulder as i said it, laughing.

he turns and pats me back on the shoulder (CONTACT!!) and says something light - can't remember!!

we're standing at the door and talk about a couple more things with the food and drinks and i said - i'll make that red drink for the kids again , they love it - and s pipes up from his room (big ears? he's following every word) yes that drink that x and y made for us - i was trying to remember it i love it!! and came out to join us, saying their names.

well poor poor h. x and y are ow's mother and sister and when we stayed with them they absolutely adored s, and he loved them and they made him this drink - and it was the first and only time he's ever agreed to drink anything but breast milk and water. i've been making it for the party ever since. so s goes on about it, hugs h good bye and trots back to his room

ouch that must have hurt him. he immediately did his anxiety thing - where he turns his head completely away and keeps talking to us

did a bit of a "do something different and see how it works" just reached over and gave h a hug - he hugged me back pretty hard. and then said what was that for - i just said lightly - you looked like you needed one, off you go.

. lets' see if he pulls back or just stays where he is.