As you've had time to digest the other night and the feedback received how are you feeling? Have you been able to stay no contact and avoid R talk? You can friend "DB Buddy". I do think that 25 will serve you well as your mentor -- youve also picked up some feedback from some other great vets lately. I hope the new input helps as you are definitely back on the emotional rollercoaster after that session.
Accuray
Accuray, I have to say that you have been one of my biggest strengths throughout this journey. You really have no idea how much you have affected my life and given me some of the best perspectives as I've struggled so much to figure out which way is up. I value so much the time and effort you have put in so freely offering me your wisdom and advice. Just had to tell you that.
As for my feelings of last night. There were so many positives from it that I'm looking at it as a babystep in the right direction. Just like I had said before, being in someone's presence and feeling their energy says a whole lot about a connection that two people share. I felt a lot of that and I know my H felt it too in addition to the conversation we had.
I am not having a need to contact H about our R. I feel like he knows where I stand and he knows what he needs to do. It's just a matter of him being able to follow through with it. Does he want this M to work enough? That is the question. I get that he can be saying a lot of these things but he is definitely going to have back up what he's saying by his actions.
I felt very much that H instigated our R talk last night. I was going to keep quiet. I knew he wanted to know what was on my mind and he was happy to talk about it. This is a huge change on his part. Coming from someone that has a huge problem with sharing feelings and being open with me about what is going on.
I am taking it for what it is. I know he hasn't agreed to reconcile or anything but I'm happy to know that he's seeing the changes in me. It makes me feel like he really isn't saying these things out of guilt. I think he really sees me differently now.
I love what DBing stands for and how much it has changed me from within. I still don't proclaim to be perfect at it. But I feel like I understand the concept completely. Work on yourself from within to find your own self worth and your life will start to fall into place as it should.
The best thing that could have ever come out of this is that I LOVE MYSELF!!! I truly do. It makes me cry just thinking about it. I have struggled with my self-worth for so long and I'm so happy to finally be able to see the beauty and strength from within me.
Wow...
Me: 32 H: 32 M 9 yrs #1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2 Bomb 8/12/11 H moved out 8/14/11 PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12 Got my own place 8/25/12 H & OW move in together 9/15/12 Still married.
