no - that's just the marzipan i'm making from scratch - haven't' even got to the cake yet - been procrastinating!!
at the latest count - 4 doz. eggs, 4 lbs butter and way too many bags of sugar. cake for 50 is a lot of cake, and ya ya i know - get it from the bakery - that's the easy way out...
i'll tell y'all about the cake one of these days. i used to be a pastry chef, and believe me it'a a lot different doing the same thing in a professional kitchen than it is in a dinky home kitchen with one little oven. but i get by!!
that wasn't too much info for me - and i will get back to that later - seems like i'm always bringing up the you know what discussions. there's quite a bit there to "analyze" and discuss - heehee looking forward to it
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
weeeelll - it won't make much difference - i only do this twice a year - for x'mas and s's b'day!! sorry (grin)
journaling-
h brought s home from his class. he was tired, i offered him some ice water - instead he lay down in the foyer to rest - both of them were covered in glaze and clay - sent s off to wash up.
went out for a ciggie, then came back and walked up to h and said - i want you to stop knocking when you come over. he protested about us needing space, i said i create my own space, i don't need anyone else to give it to me. it's always bothered me and i prefer if you just walk in - besides i know when you are coming over.
then we talked about the menu - confirming the last details - we went out to the garage to see what was in the freezer there - he suddenly says - hey can i have this fridge? i said -well the other one in the kitchen is on it's last legs, and i might need it. besides isn't your dad furnishing the whole house. he said no, he was trying to do it as cheap as possible and he was planning to buy it off them eventually.
as we walked back in i just laughed and said - sure you can have the fridge - it's not like i won't be able to afford to buy my own if i need one. he got a bit funny and said well we don't need to talk about stuff like that right now. so i joked back and teased him a bit and said - hey we should start now and spread it over the months one bit at a time so it's not that much to deal with all at once - sort of patted him on his shoulder as i said it, laughing.
he turns and pats me back on the shoulder (CONTACT!!) and says something light - can't remember!!
we're standing at the door and talk about a couple more things with the food and drinks and i said - i'll make that red drink for the kids again , they love it - and s pipes up from his room (big ears? he's following every word) yes that drink that x and y made for us - i was trying to remember it i love it!! and came out to join us, saying their names.
well poor poor h. x and y are ow's mother and sister and when we stayed with them they absolutely adored s, and he loved them and they made him this drink - and it was the first and only time he's ever agreed to drink anything but breast milk and water. i've been making it for the party ever since. so s goes on about it, hugs h good bye and trots back to his room
ouch that must have hurt him. he immediately did his anxiety thing - where he turns his head completely away and keeps talking to us
did a bit of a "do something different and see how it works" just reached over and gave h a hug - he hugged me back pretty hard. and then said what was that for - i just said lightly - you looked like you needed one, off you go.
. lets' see if he pulls back or just stays where he is.
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
had a great day today - s and i did the first batch of cakes together - really saw that i had NO OCD tendencies - he was really relaxed and absolutely loved it. we laughed a lot and he was so proud that i let him take over and went to do something else. best sign that i was successful - he wants to do it again tomorrow for the next batch
while they were in the oven, my oh so sweet friend came over - she had gone to KC with another friend yesterday and they had gone to this secondhand clothing store that was really great and spent the whole time looking for something great for me to wear at the party. she bought seven dresses back!! - $3 each - and 2 of them were really great - so i'm wearing one for the party on saturday.
gosh i have changed - i have so much more confidence now - when i put it on and looked in the micro (hey KD - i saw that, left it for you to laugh at!!!) i couldn't recognize myself - it's this bright red and orange short little halter dress made in hawaii - with a gorgeous design - very bright and short. (did i mention that all my life i only wore black and grey was really extreme for me!)
i just thought it was the loveliest thing they did for me - just delighted me - i couldn't go with them because i had the intern here and had to work
so s and i are getting really excited about the party as we always do - i think h is too - heard him and s talking on the phone about it and s going on and on about this and that. so happy to hear them doing that more than the usual terse conversation that s has with him on the phone.
a bit about the cake - i've always made this huge extravaganza cake that when h carries it out everyones mouth drops open . the kids are so amazed that there's pin drop silence and awe on their faces. and then they go crazy and get really excited.
the best part for me though is that i choose some really fancy schmancy french recipe which is very elaborate (keeping my skills up) and then s chooses the theme - usually something really difficult like the international space station or the leaning tower of pisa, and then because i'm a nut, i make it all crazy dr. suess style and it comes out rather different from the original
i make all the decorations from scratch with sugar candies and cookie dough and it really is a lot of fun.
so this cake has always been sort of my labor of love for s and i always thought that h really appreciated that - he always seemed to. it's always been a huge deal for all of us and even the adults talk about the past years cakes and compare them etc. the kids are still talking about the cake in august back at school.
so it was quite the shock for me, when in his list of grievances h said he hated the cake and everything to do with it. i had a hard time with that one - really hard. mil was so mad about it too. we talked about it and i found my way through to understanding what he hated about it and understood more where he was coming from. and then i felt okay about doing it again.
he's a tad bit edgy about the cake this year- and has confirmed several times that i AM making it, aren't i? (he doesn't want anything to change in the way we do things). and i've just decided that i am going to have fun doing it and not worry about what he thinks!!
so this year, its' a soccer field - hmmm -lots and lots and lots of little people in marzipan - players and audience haha.
having a major play date session tomorrow afternoon, and the kids can make the figures while i finish baking - they've always come over to help with parts of it.
so that's the cake story!!
hope everyone had a good day today and has an even better one tomorrow:)
zig
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
Zig I am just so happy for you!! Am sending you a big hug. I ammjust so happy I am smiling! Have a great day. The arrangements for the pArtysound just great!. And I thinknthe cake sounds pretty fricken awesome!
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
looked in the micro (hey KD - i saw that, left it for you to laugh at!!!) i couldn't recognize myself
lol... I usually look in the mirror to see myself and the fridge for food... but I'm sure the orange goes really well with your skin tone... (no, I was not in the micro stalking u)
So... it's short...? like... it goes ALLLLL the way up?
oh you are just sounding so good. Love to read you now!
I am in awe of your cake skills! It sounds amazing!
So glad you're mixing your style up. It's funny I've gone the opposite I've always been very loud and flashy in the past and I am loving a new grown up sophisticated style. Although I wore an orange based dressed at the weekend and got loads of compliments. One of the girls said I never would have picked that up and it looks amazing. I didn't tell her the main reason I picked it up was that it was half price! ha
WOW! Like Brit I am very impressed at your pastry skills!! Haha now my cookies don't seem so impressive It's good that you were able to work out your h's problems with the cake and that you feel good making it again especially because he doesn't want any changes to the party system. It really sounds like quite a party!
weeell it's not that short - maybe halfway up my thighs - which is very short for me!! but ya know - after all that yoga - my legs are looking good!! GRIN!!!
---if i do say so myself - since there's no one else around to say it!!!
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
vera, brit - thanks - i hope it is going to be fine - i had a f'ing disaster with the marzipan sugar syrup this morning - and was so proud of myself - just dealt with it, didn't get hassled and started over - all under extreme duress: the intern arriving and needing to get set-up, my brother on the phone railing me about something i'd set up wrong on the computer (and when he rails, h looks damn good), h and s calling on the other phone and sugar burning on the stove
GOOD opportunity to practice my new skills of staying calm while i did all at the same time!!!
then the kids came over and typical 11 yr olds - did a bit and ran off to play - hmm, what was i thinking that they'd actually make all the figures!! so now everyone has left and i decided to just chill for a bit, before attacking the kitchen which looks like a bomb went off in there - there's more powdered sugar on the floor, courtesy of my little friends, than there is in the marzipan!!
oh - little side note. called h to ask s something and his reply - "can it wait until we get home?"
it took me a few mins after i got off the phone - something sounded odd and then it hit me - he said that like he used to before. since the S, he's always said "your house" hmmm, wonder if he noticed?
my intern left pleased as punch - she was ready today - halfway through the second week to start on a shawl for me, and really excited that she got to this point so fast, she'd never seen a knitting machine before she started. it was nice to see her all excited - she is one dedicated worker - so i'm pleased too!!
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
(no, I was not in the micro stalking u) 