Snowman, it's a tough situation. I'd be pretty worn out too. It's normal to have lots of ups and downs, forward progress and backslides. Don't be too hard on yourself.
The irony thing hits pretty hard, doesn't it? I gravitated to some taoist books for a while, just because they seemed to have strageties to deal with this. It always reminded me of that old Steinfeld episode where George decides that since nothing he is doing works out he'll just do the complete opposite of what he normally would....and become wildly successful.
As for the book, I was trying to picture you driving in your car, nodding yep, yep, yep to the audiobook. I had the same reactions, and probably would have been nodding and waving my hands so much I'd have crashed my car.
