The sooner you can recognize and thought stop, the better your emotional state (and your day) will be.
I've been shoring up my boundaries and pretty much setting up a vacuum around myself, in regards to my W. I really, really, really do not want to stay M to her and everything she is doing, saying, blah... blech... is irritating me.
But I continued to stay as positive and mysterious and otherwise pleasant around my W, as per DB...
ick...
dbmod asked me late last week about what my W might want from me and how I might "fill her heart"... and honestly... I had nothing. I had no idea what my W might want from me or what might fill her heart. I dug and dug and could not come up with anything. The reality is, I have always had a sense that, my W at least wants to remain connected to me for some reason.
Initially, my W gave the "we can remain friends" speech. And even though I expressed very clearly that I would not be her friend, I did not want to be her friend, she persisted with sporadic contact about non-essential things.
So as much as what I want to do different is to have my own MLC... well... without the MLC part... and following what appears to be a theme that is developing here... It came to me that my W wants to keep some connection with me and it may be time for me to do something different and allow that to develop.
Truth be known, I don't want to. I am already into a second email from my W and the stuff that I'm reading is irritating me...
But... I will remain positive in my interaction, let the connection develop, and see where it leads. Truth is, so far it's positive.
Like you, I have to thought stop on the negative that I'm reading into her emails. I have to choose to believe they are based in good intentions.
And given time... I can change me to change the sitch, or in this case, simply accept that my W's language is what it is and to choose not to be offended by it or any perceived meaning.
