So Gritter, how long is this journey? What do I have to look forward to? Where should I focus my attention now? Any suggestions?
If you are comitted to the process of always being better?
It never ends until they chuck clay on you my friend.
You should focus your attention away from your W.
Missing her. Her choice not to be with you. What she is doing what she isn't doing.
This is a process and if you give up in the middle you won't reach your goal.
Your goal?
Maybe you are realizing you aren't getting what you wanted when you got here which is for your W to come back and work on your M.
Well that isn't up to you. There is no magic trick here.
If it was guaranteed then there would be a whole lot more people signing up here.
What you do have is an opportunity to use the tools and advice given on this forum to turn adversity and tragedy into a catalyst for change in your life.
When you do, you take responsibility for your own happiness.
You stop laying it at the feet of your W.
Then you can focus on being the best person you desire to be.
Then maybe, just maybe, she will see that guy and decide to be with him.
Then it will be up to you to see if she is someone a man like you will consider letting back into his life.
My thread is in MLC. We are divorced as of 12/29/11. My W had a childhood trauma that became a very distructive force as it came home to roost in her adult life. My tread is long and spans over two years since I signed on here.
There is a point that everyone who comes here must face:
When you don't get what you came here for (your spouse back) then what?
What is the worth in keeping the faith?
THAT is a question I can't answer for you. I can only tell that my choice to stand beyond that apparent reality was the best choice I ever made in my life.
But you have to decide for you.
If you are done then you would not be asking me these questions.
Don't you want to find your own answers?
That only comes from deciding for you and not because somone says that don't want what you want.
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
