Something The Boys And I Have Noticed

[tadpole1025]

Thanks Wendy and AJ.

I've had a week for the news to sink in. I am doing better. With the exception of some bad days and some really sh!tty days, I'm doing ok. Maybe it is a blessing that the wedding is still a year away. Maybe it will mean nothing to me by the time that it happens.

I've done a lot of reading here in the last few days on MLC and depression. It is so obvious what XW is going through.

I've also been doing some thinking.

A LOT of thinking...

I honestly don't think I could take her back if she wanted to.

I feel bad for the damage she has done to the relationships she has with our boys.

When I was a kid, I used to hear the older people talk about "the change of life." I never knew what that was, but I sure do now.

I had a great talk with my two youngest sons the other night. We were talking about the one good thing that came out of this mess - our relationships. We are closer now than we have ever been. I am grateful for it.

Also, I have a wonderful relationship with S19's GF. She told me that she considers me her "second daddy." I never had this before because XW didn't like her and wouldn't let her come around.

Something else: S17 said to me the other day: "you've done more living in the last 2 years than you've done your whole life." I didn't know what he meant at the time, but I think I see it now. I've been able to do some things that I couldn't do before.

I've got great kids.

I've also been thinking that it is time to do something for ME. I just don't know what yet....

Tad