Kimmerz, They spew because they can't control their emotions. Keep in mind, when a two year old throws a tantrum, they bawl and stomp their feet, and yes, old their breath. When the mlcer is acting out, you can't have any type of rational conversation w/them. Now, I've said this before to others, when they are spewing like crazy, change the subject very quickly and that awful, crazy spewing will stop in mid-stream. Why? Because you've changed up the subject and it catches them off guard. BTW, this does work...I had Mt. Etna spewing at me all of the time until I tried this easy technique. It make take you a couple of tries, but you'll get it.
Many times when they are spewing, it's not about us at all. It could be something ticked them off at work, road rage, the sun is shining or whatever. They spew at the people they feel safest with. I know that my xh did this little number at work and the guys told me that they gave it back to him three-fold and he never did it again to them.
Try my suggestion and see if it helps. Don't "expect" him to say or do anything that he have normally done in the past...the past for him is gone and you've got the mirror image of that model.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
