Wife of 7-Years is Divorcing Me, but Yet Not pt. 9

[25yearsmlc]

this is a tough thing to write but I hope you are really paying attention Alamo, I've been with you the whole time you've posted as best I recall. I'm on your side. But get a helmet on my friend...

25, parental alienation is one dicey topic. He said, she said, etc. Did s/he actually say it? In times of high duress like these, it's so easy to gravitate towards "worst case scenarios".

what are YOU talking about? It's NOT a "she said/he said" thing at all.

She DID say this, and we know that b/c SHE involved other parties to whom she ALSO said it. She "invited" CPS, by tellin them, so now a child shrink has to examine your son

AND THE COURT is involved b/c she told THEM TOO...

It isn't bad parenting she's alleging, it's a CRIME she is claiming happened, and YOU can go to JAIL for it.

I'm not lying about this Alamo. Did you read up on the McMartin case? it ALL began with a divorcing wife in a custody battle, but it lead to innocent bystanders, the daycare workers -ALSO being jailed for years....

What are you thinking Alamo? Hey, This is NOT a test from GOD...


I'm not disagreeing with being prepared for the worst. Believe me, my guard has been up and will stay up for awhile until proven otherwise. People say I'm stupid/naive/unrealistic to be docile and/or forgiving, especially after the venomous things that have been done/said by my wife, but I believe that (as part of my 180) I need to be Christ-like, i.e. gracious yet vigilant, humble yet wise. The moment I give up and say "I'm only human", the devil has done his work.

WTH?
Seems to me, you are falling on your sword in a misguided attempt to prove something, something that will hurt you AND YOUR SON...probably for the rest of HIS life.

You hate conflict so much, maybe you're using this "noble" approach of utter passivity, and putting a mask on it and calling it Christ like.

But isn't it really just more extreme conflict avoidance? You're not the only one who loses by this. Your marriage will lose of course but that's a given. You consistently appear weak in front of her and it gets you where you are now.

But this hurts your son. What a thing to grow up hearing about his dad...

I admit, i don't know what you are thinking right now. I don't get it.
But I wish you'd put HIM FIRST

and not this weird approach that you seem to be wearing like a hair shirt.


After all, that's WHY Jesus came among us and instructed us to be more LIKE HIM. I'm not perfect, but to stay imperfect is folly.

Excuse me??...Are you suggesting it's "Christ like" to allow yourself to be legally/socially crucified

for the SAKE OF YOUR SON BELIEVING YOU MOLESTED HIM?

I'm Catholic but this isn't a theological argument I've heard before...

couldn't just be an unusual way of justifying the "doormat" behavior that requires NOTHING of you? I mean, it's actually easier to do nothing and pray,

than to stand up for yourself and your son, isn't it? Why either or with you?

Oops, sorry for digressing and the little sermonette (it IS Sunday!).

So yes, I'm aware of the seriousness of my wife's actions (in each case, even if they were encouraged by her attorney, family and/or friends, she made the final decision, therefore I hold her accountable), and have created the necessary tools to protect ourselves (our son and I).

I seriously doubt Her attorney knowingly asked her to lie. What do we "know"? We know Your wife lied, period. Others in her family MAY well be willing to as well.

Maybe she first "hypothesized" to her L and he said "write it down" b/c THE LAWYER has a duty to report child abuse in some circumstances...

but it's a foolish game to make up if you are an attorney b/c as an officer of the court, if you make something up or have no good faith basis for saying it, the lawyer loses their practice, their license and you can sue them.


Don't let your wife off the hook with that excuse. She gets away with what you let her off with.

Look to HER...for HER actions. It's all in HER interests make this up so she can move AND take your son, uprooting his whole life and cutting you out of it except under her terms... but you dared to ask for fatherly rights...so now she's cutting you out of his life for good. And you are letting her and calling it the noble way.

It's not noble to give your son up b/c you hate the idea of fighting/confronting your wife (and dealing with your past), MORE than you hate the idea of losing him.

Don't kid yourself... sorry but that's how I see it now.


what TOOLS are YOU getting to protect yourself and your son?


Now, if there's ever a change of heart on her part, then I would gladly drop everything and work on creating something new and better WITH her. Of course, I/we would need to create a new set of tools to manage that situation.

UPDATE
On Friday sent my wife an email to ask if I can have supervised time with our son on Sunday (from church time until afternoon).

OMG...you "ASKED HER IF..."???

I hope at some point you'll hire lawyers who fight AND that you will listen to THEM. Let your Lawyers make formal requests and let her ignore them...



On Saturday she responds saying that they already have plans. Hmm, baloney is all I can say; she knows that one of the main things our son has in his life right now is his church, and that I've only seen him twice this week (counting last Sunday). Our son's best interest? I don't think so.


neither is your constant placating of her. How's that helping your son?

Where's Starsky on this? OR Robx? You need to hear from some men who would pull their hair out when reading this outrageous behavior of hers.

Your supplicating is NOT attractive, obviously. But worse, it's LOSING YOUR CASE AND YOUR SON but you keep doing the same darn thing.




This morning I sent her another email asking if I can talk to our son before he goes to bed tonight. She responded: "that will be fine. Call at 7".

So I call at exactly 7 and guess what, no one picks up the phone. She calls @ 7:05 but guess what, she had not prepped our son for the call. I didn't even get to say a single word to him because he was playing with a friend. Any signs of cooperation and co-parenting? You tell me.

This wasn't the only time either. Last Sunday she dropped our son off late with me and my supervisor (she said they had overslept, but I think I remember that there's a device called an alarm clock); it was Sunday worship, but our son had disheveled hair and crinkly clothes. On Tuesday, she did not follow instructions to pick our son from my place even though I had specifically said so TWICE via email...Okay, now I just sound like I'm whining. Anyway, my legal team is aware of all these, so we'll see what direction they suggest.



she does not respect you or care what you think.

She has all the power b/c she knows you won't "fire a weapon" legally OR behaviorally, and she HAS

and she will keep on firing til she gets it all.

Then you'll wonder what happened...


We have at least two more days of court sessions. Tomorrow's pm session will be my wife's testimonial and cross-exam, while Tuesday morning will be my turn on the stand. Thanks so much y'all for praying for ALL of us during this whole ordeal, and I ask y'all to do the same for us this week.