The other perspective is that you both let your marriage get off track, and your spouse's pain became so acute that their actions seemed the best course of action to end their suffering. In that context, you are not the victim, you are a participant in the problem.
Brilliantly said
I agree with that 100%. It's actually very close to what my MC said today as well. It has certainly been a crisis which has changed me massively and has really made me scrutinise the way I run my life. Jobs-wise I can't really change it in the next 6 months as I want to finish the project I started. I've set myself a time limit on that and as soon as that is done I'm going to find myself a better paid, more life friendly job. During that 6 months I will be addressing issues at work which have been irritating me massively such as how I interact with people and being more forthright in my dealings with them rather than keeping things smooth. I just wish my wife was actually here to see it in action!
She emailed today in response to me sorting out all the bills and putting them in my name and not hers. All very much sweetness and light but still making it very clear that she needs money to move into her new place at the same time. I'm not sure if I should be happy about this or not...
