Dear Cadet, I just read the doormat thread you sent me. Very helpful. I have a friend whose H hangs around my H who has been going to the bar with him. We all spent alot of time together and went on vacations too. She is asking me how long I'm gonna put up with this. She is upset at my h because he told her he was going to work on the marriage and he's not doing much now. She said she felt betrayed by that and that he ruined the 4 of us's friendship. I don't think he betrayed her. He did that to me. She is used to being kinda the wise advice giver and she's bummed cuz she thinks he's avoiding her (not asking for advice and the 4 us have not hung out.) but her H is an alcoholic and can be a real pain in the ass. So she thinks I should leave my H and she puts up with alot of her own crap! I said something about her staying with him and she said the difference is that her h respects her. I think not. H still goes to the bar frequently and gets plowed and lies about things to her.
So it was helpful to read that thread. I'm going to go dim on telling her stuff since, I know she cares about me but like the thread said everybody thinks the LBS is a fool.
I did tell my husband I can't be his room mate forever, you can read what I said. He says now he is very depressed, black. How well I know that feeling. I told him so. And he knows it. I know that God can help him and he used to believe that but he avoids confession. And he went regularly until the affair. Then he went once after the affair then stopped. Makes me wonder if he is still seeing OW. But he is in the tunnel big time.
