She left the conversation with "D1's getting tired and throwing a huge temper tantrum." I wanted to reply that monkey see monkey do, but decided to take the high road.
LOL
M:35 W:33 M: 5 yrs. Daughter: 2 yr .7/11/10 D Final: 8/7/12
You haven't seen anything yet...the more freaked out she gets, the worse she'll be. Whatever you do, don't take the bait when the crap starts hitting the fan.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks Snod. Keeping head down real low and replying only if need be.
Just got e-mail from lawyer telling me that STBXW sent a letter from her company indicating her current income and not her 2011 tax return as requested by my L. My L was not amused. Looks like Cujo might be getting a nice juicy rump roast for supper and STBXW will need a donut to sit for a awhile!
M:35 W:33 M: 5 yrs. Daughter: 2 yr .7/11/10 D Final: 8/7/12
Well, she's on the right path of mlc. They can't seem to provide the right documentation when requested. My xh did the same thing. She's not going to be happy that she's got to step up to the plate and provide the correct documentation.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I just got back from the storage facility. STBXW picked me up and we went there. Upon arriving, she apparently pick up the wrong keys (after an hour of searching). She then asks me if I want to go shopping with her.
I declined and had her drop me off at home.
She now wants me to get my stuff when i have my time with D1, which isn't gonna fly. I am going to tell her it will be Wed. or Thursday, when I am free. If she decides to keep the stuff, oh well, I guess. I don't think anyone will buy pictures of me as a child or of my deceased mother anyway. Not much else I have there from what i can remember.
I am out grabbing a "slice o' life" before work tonight.
Everyone have a good night!
M:35 W:33 M: 5 yrs. Daughter: 2 yr .7/11/10 D Final: 8/7/12
Wow. Well apparently I got the STBXW's tax return from last year and it was considerably a higher figure than she claims she is making this year. We are talking that child support payments go from me paying her $158 a month to $15.
She's really gonna be mad when she finds out that when she gets my tax return it will show that she actually made more than me and will owe me child support!
M:35 W:33 M: 5 yrs. Daughter: 2 yr .7/11/10 D Final: 8/7/12
Oh my! She's not going to be a happy camper when she learns this news! I wouldn't want to be around when this news is given to her. The fireworks will begin far earlier than the 4th of July when this news gets to her.
I hope you had a pleasant weekend. I do hope that the week is a nice one for you, but with the news....one can never tell.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Well she told me that if she got Head of Household for tax break purposes (as she now makes less than me), she would split the break that she would get for daycare. I told her it seems fair, but I want it in writing. She is really mad about the going by last years tax return, but the court was going to make us go by it anyway, they usually do.
She is still refusing that I have primary residential regarding school for D1, saying that "I don't plan to live here for too long, before I move back into your town." I replied, "then you should not have a problem with agreeing to it anyway as I don't plan on moving."
Last night I texted her stating that we needed to talk to clear the air and lay all the cards on the table as I am sick of the cold war. There is no reply yet and I am not expecting one.
Meeting her may be a mistake, but I figured that it would be one of closure for me as I will have had a chance to clearly state my position and why I am doing the things I am doing regarding divorce. It also gives me a chance to hear her side.
I figure it is a win win because I can sleep better because she will have made an fully informed decision, it is a chance for her to earn trust, and I will be able to see her true motives if I get double crossed.
I also accepted that getting double crossed is a big risk, but from what I can see so far, I have covered my butt enough where there is not much damage she could do.
I am not going to plead, beg, pursue, etc. I just want to see where we are at regarding how well we can get along as parents of our D and as human beings in general.
M:35 W:33 M: 5 yrs. Daughter: 2 yr .7/11/10 D Final: 8/7/12
TM, I understand what you are trying to accomplish. I do hope that she will agree to meet w/you, but don't be surprised if she doesn't based on you standing your ground about the head of household issue, as well as the tax info.
She's got a lot to "swallow" right now and she may bo MIA for a day or so, but I can assure you, she'll be right back to contacting you before you know it.
She has absolutely no idea what a good husband and father you are. There are plenty of women out there who would love to have someone like you as a spouse. Too bad she's going to mess it all up.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
The spam hit the fan when she found out about the tax return being used in the child support calculation. I expected that. She called and threatened, demanded, and tried to guilt me into giving her head of household and not using her tax info for child support. After listening to 3 minutes of her ranting at me, especially for not talking to her about primary residential for educational purposes only (which I appologized for previously), I finally lost it and reminded her about how inconsiderate she was when she decided to cheat multiple times and not inform me that she was done with the relationship prior. Then I said that if she is is mad, TOUGH! and hung up.
The next day D1 was sick so I spent the last 2 days taking care of her. STBXW is back to thanking me and calling me hon again. It is actually starting to irritate me.
I realized yesterday that I actually hate STBXW for basically making me a part time father. I am doing the best that I can to make the best of the time I have with D1, but I am greiving the time and things that I am missing when she is gone. I am not a hateful person either. I don't usually use that word period.
So right now STBXW's L is letting my L do all the work drafting up the stipulation. I think I am going to have a talk to my L about this. Why is she doing the work? I didn't file, but I am going to be charged for the time spent drafting this thing? WTH?
I am probably going to give STBXW my share of head of household on a year to year basis as it would help our child. I just didn't want to give up any rights that I may need myself in the future.
As for using the tax return, I feel a bit guilty as I know that this doesn't reflect her current income. She quit one of her jobs after filing for the D, claiming that she then could spend more time with D1. I am sure that some of that is true, but couldn't she have just cut back hours?
I also have to work 2 jobs and have to balance time with D1 and work. I could see paying child support if she had D1 for a majority of the time, but we have her 50/50. Basically it comes down to if I have to pay child support, I will not have enough money to support D1 in my own home, will need to work even more, and will lose time with D1. If I don't have to pay child support, STBXW will need to get another job, and will lose time with D1.
The darn thing is a lose-lose situation, so I guess I need to take care of myself. I just feel sorry for D1. She does not deserve this.
M:35 W:33 M: 5 yrs. Daughter: 2 yr .7/11/10 D Final: 8/7/12
