I knew you had been seeing someone, and I am excited for you...
Secondly...
The boys....
If this is real, in time, you will become a fixture in their lives, regardless of how deeply you want that.
Children, while they can be difficult at best during various times in their life, will gravitate toward the strength that an adult has inside of them. What that means for you is, whether or not you are ready, or even want that, YOU will become that to them, and for them.
You, by being the choice for their Mother, will become the male role model for these young men, when they spend time with their Mother. Your actions, the way you treat their Mother, the way you love her, the way you respect her, will be things that they will see, and carry into their own relationships.
Like it or not, when you say "I do" to this woman, you are saying "I do" to her entire life, not just her. In a way, it becomes the classic "It takes a village to raise a child.." scenario. ( Even the village Idiot) : )
Essentially, you will become a co-parent with her ex, in the ways of what it takes to be a man in this world. No offense to her, but she has zero clue as to what that means. So that responsibility will fall to you ( if you choose that ). Is that a bad thing ? In no way is it bad. I know that you have that inside of you. And I know that you want children in your life.
And although you wont start out that way, the relationship will develop into that, over time. You will look back in a couple years and see the positive influence that you have become to them. It will take on it's own form, and it will find you when it needs to, and back away when it needs to.
Grit, I have ZERO DOUBT that you are up for that challenge. I know what kind of man that you are, and I know the quality of being a man that you have to offer to these young men.
You may think that it is too hard to accept that role, and when you do......
Remember that Eric can do it... : )
That should boost confidence !!!!
As for the timing ?
These things rarely go "as planned". And the timing will more than likely come to you, when the time is right. You will be placed in situations where contact will not be avoidable, and the situation calls for interaction.
These boys aren't dumb, and they will 'know' about you before you think that they do. They may not know your name, or that you are old enough to be their great-grandfather : ) , but they will know that there is one hell of a special guy treating their Mother right....
You will both know when that time is. And much like detaching, it will be more of a state of mind than it is a decision.
And then, maybe you can take them for a ride on your Unicorn ???
On another note....
You know my son...
His quote from yesterday...
"Money can't buy happiness...but it can buy Bacon, and that is pretty much the same thing"
